Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The day I mooned Rue 21

Ever since I was little my life has been awkward. I can honestly say that I have had my fair share of Donald Duck/ Goofy moments. In fact I've been given a very generous serving of awkwardness. From embarrassing moments to awkward boys, you could say my life was pretty entertaining. To start off the awkwardness, I will tell you about the time I pants-ed/ skirts-ed myself in a store... Ha can't you just imagine and old person saying that while sitting in a rocking chair with a glass of lemonade?

Now picture this- It's a cold march evening and I am dressed in a tri-ruffled skirt that goes to the top of my knees with sheer black tights and black high-heeled boots on my way to a wedding open house. Now you know how there is always that one family who has a ton of kids and is just a little quirky? Well it was That family's daughter's wedding. Before I get to the main part of the story I want to show you how the awkwardness just kind of builds up all on it's own... sorta. We get to the church and get in the line to tell the couple congratulations and exchange the "Hey I barely know you but I am going to give you a you are my best friend in the whole wide world hug and maybe a thumbs up." You know the line you have to go through before you can get to the dessert table.  First we congratulate the bride and then go onto the groom. I shake his hand and tell him the normal exchange and start to let go of his hand, but he holds on tighter. He stares at me for a minute or two then says
"Do I know you?"
"Uh nope. Never seen you in my life."
"No I know you. I wouldn't forget a face like yours."
"Yeah I must have common face."
I wiggle my fingers out of his hand and quickly move out of the way of the next person.

After we finally got the dessert, we left and headed straight for Rue 21 to go look at the jewelry that was on sale. Now I'm not much of a jewelry girl I'm more of a shoes kind of girl. My parents were over by the wall of necklaces and I was by all the beautiful boots, and I had my eye on a certain pair since we walked into the store. Unfortunately, they were on the bottom shelf. My shirt was modest but bending over might show a little too much and I didn't want to give someone a peep show (GROSS!). So I decided to be a lady and squat down to pick them up. I slowly and carefully lower myself down and successfully pick up the shoes but was disappointed to see that they were way to big for me. Angrily I go to stand up. One thing that you will learn about me is how clumsy I "secretly" am. As I stand up, I lose my balance and step back so I won't completely fall back on my butt. Thinking I am safe I stand up the rest of the way. But my skirt slid down past my thighs, in the middle of the store! I slide it back into position but my right foot comes up with it. Not noticing what was going on, I start a war between pulling my skirt up and putting my foot down while trying not to flash the peanut gallery again. Finally, a nice lady comes over and helps me unhook my shoe from my skirt; only to reveal a huge hole on the back of my skirt. For the rest of the night I had to have my skirt on sideways just so my butt wasn't shown to the rest of the world while we were out.